Our First Getaway

Well, last weekend I took the Landmark Advanced course. During which, I came to realize some ways I've been putting Royal on the backburner in my life. I called and promised him I would take him for a getaway- Just the two of us- the weekend of July 4th.

As it happened, my dad came into town this weekend, so that solved our babysitter problem. Royal agreed an all-day date would be equivalent to an out of town getaway for him.

So, here's what I executed to dazzle him:

First we went to an amazing international Grocery Store called Global Foods. They have foods from dozens of countries, and Royal loves ethnic foods that he has never tried before. We spent an hour browsing there and bought Nan bread, gyro meat, cucumber sauce and some fresh cilantro. It made a very satisfying lunch!

Then we traveled to the St. Louis Zoo, where I bought two tickets to pet live sting rays. WOW. That was so amazing! I was thrilled and delighted by those huge (12" square to 30" square!), graceful sea creatures. We bought little fish to feed them, and one bit my finger! It felt like a very blunt jaw, and didn't hurt but did surprise me enough to jump! Their backs are slimy, and they actually swim up to your hand to be petted. The Zoo attendants said they seem to enjoy the sensation of the petting.

Then we drove to the St. Louis Arch. I was planning to ride up the 630 feet to the top, but the wait to ride was three hours! The place was so crowded, people were sitting on the floor. So, we just looked at the free museum and left.

Next we visited the famous Soulard Farmer's Market.

We ate dinner at Fritz's Bottling Company where they make their own Root Beer. (Royal is a big Root Beer fan.) Then we walked to the theatre and watched Pixar's new movie, UP. (We both loved it, by the way. You must see it. Very moving, inspiring, and funny.)

We got home around just late enough to feel like a real getaway. I am so grateful that came to pass. It has been just too long.

Another try at regular exercise

This last weekend, I reread 8 minutes in the morning by Jorge Cruise.

And,

I think I can.

I think I can.

I think I can.

I think I can....

(I'll check back in in a week or so.)

A Rant... Don't read it if you don't want to hear it.

WHY CAN'T I STAY ON AN EXERCISE PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Insert excuse number 553 here.)

WHY CAN'T I STAY ON AN EXERCISE PROGRAM!!!!!!

(Insert excuse number 1 here.)

Oh, I have them! Yes, I HAVE PLENTY OF EXCUSES. AND THEY ARE GOOD ONES, TOO.

(One more time, just for the record.)

WHY CAN'T I STAY ON AN EXERCISE PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the words of a Joy Berry book, I feel frustrated.

Well, I did make 60!

I just counted up my accomplishments, and I exceeded the minimum standard. I actually got 70 out of 112!

I have to admit, it was with a weak finish, but I still get my 12 songs!

Now, who do you all use to buy songs online?

I guess its time to make a new reward chart...because I haven't exercised all week! Well, that is if you don't count an hour of dance instruction! (It was the Rhumba.... Not too much sweating going on...)

My Reward Chart

I am using a reward chart to help me stay on track. This is my anti-perfectionism tool. I got this particular chart from a Wellness Notebook, which I have in PDF format. It's huge, though, like 75 pages.

A reward chart helps me remember what I was trying to do. Unlike you, I quickly forget the main point of some of my hardest goals.

Also, it helps me see and acknowledge the smallest accomplishment! Having a tendency toward depression, which means twisted thinking, I have a hard time seeing those successes unless I work hard on focusing my mind. This chart helps me see every little part of my goal that I succeed at doing.

I've decided if I get 50% of my goal done out of 14 days, I'll give myself a reward. In this case, I think I counted 112 parts of my goal on the chart. So, "Success" will be if I get 56 or more done. The reward I picked is to buy $12 of songs that I can use on Royal's MP3 player. I figure I can listen to them while working out, so I hope this reward will help me continue to accomplish my goal!

(I've never purchased music online. Any suggestions for user-friendly song-buying sites?)

So, good-luck to any of you that are also trying to do something hard. We can do it. At least, we can do something.

A Comedy of Circumstances.

It all started by waking to the sound of one hand clapping.... That is, my alarm failed to sound. I had an alarm set so we could arrive on time to Royal's doctor appointment. This appointment is his follow-up from his Discectomy surgery in December, and we both had very serious concerns for our surgeon, Kuklo. Yet we were already 30 minutes later than planned.

So, the only routine we executed was the, "Potty, brush, dress, and get that coat on..." as we dashed about the house begging compliance from our sleepy kids.

No exercise. Only very brief, desperate prayers, and certainly no work on personal goals!

Oh, well. I am okay with failing again. Isn't that great! ;-)

On the up side, (an omage to Auntie Heather, once again.) when I went to my reward chart to check off the anything I might have done, I did see "Get fully dressed". YES! I did it! Of course, today will be another story. A more normal one, I hope...

One Day More

I'm still working on a morning routine.

Yesterday I got in a partial one: exercise, scriptures, and prayers before kids awoke, and dressed and makeup afterwards. (Pretty good!)

Today, we accomplished getting dressed, showered, and having very good prayers before kids awoke.

I was also aiming to work on a personal goal, and that has been occurring during the day.

As for structuring time with the kids, I haven't dented that goal yet, except for planning a few things.

One Step Forward.

I thought about naming today's post, "Strike One." because I didn't do my entire routine this morning. In fact, I didn't get out of bed until 7:30.

But then I started thinking about my friend/sister, Heather. Heather always insists on looking at what is working. So, what went right? Well, more than meets the eye.

I did get fully dressed this morning. I did say a sincere prayer before leaving my room, and I even got my hair/face done!

So, One step forward, albeit not as big one as I was hoping. I will be attempting my new morning routine tomorrow.

I made myself a "Reward Chart" as an enticement to do the good behaviors. But, I haven't decided on a good reward yet... There aren't even any books I'm dying to buy right now! (That tells you how well off I am right now.)

I will try to post updates.

"My" Life, a How To on Taking It Back

Okay, so Jim is almost a year.

It must be that time of the month because I'm feeling way too sick and tired of being too sick and tired. I'm blaming the kids for taking too much of "me" and I'm blaming Royal for not taking enough of the kids' constant taking, taking, taking.

PMS or no PMS, something rattled me out of my pity party this evening. It was something very strange indeed. Royal was reading a self-help book! (Almost surreal in its likelihood...) He read an excerpt aloud. From Frugal Families by Jonni McCoy, he read (paraphrased bigtime), "If you're going to quit work to stay at home, the only way you'll survive it without running back to the office is if you structure your day. PLAN to get up early, exercise, work on personal goals, and get ready for the day before the kids. Also, PLAN the time with kids, including outings you will go on."

This struck the chord of truth for me. I really could take back more of "my" life with the proper tools (a good plan). Now, I need a plan...

So, the rambling I will do to form my plan is what this blog post is really about. (No excellence in journalism today, ladies!)

Everything I want to accomplish in my morning routine:
8 minutes exercise with weights
dressing fully, plus basic face/hair hygiene
Working on a personal goal
Working on a homemaking task that is best done alone
Spiritual reflection- 15-20 minutes of reading, plus sincere prayers

That should take about 45 minutes.

At night, it would help if I:
Reviewed the next day's plans, inc. appts
Reviewed the next day's menu (food is still the most effort-consuming item on my to do list)
Reflected on blessings from the current day
Plus prayers

That should take about 10 minutes.

So, my hypothesis is that for about an hour a day, I can have the feeling that I have taken back my life.

I can do this.

I've gotta go check my menu for tomorrow... See ya!

(I'll try to report back soon.)

Legally Defining Proper Marriage

Proposition 8, on which Californians will vote on 4 November, defines marriage in California as between a man and a woman.

Let us do all we can to uphold the definition of marriage.

Let us hope that when our children are grown, they can enjoy the blessings of proper marriage as much as we have.

Presentation, the last frontier

Okay, one thing I don't do (yet) is make things pretty.

I love to create order, but I don't know how to create beauty yet.

I am utilitarian, Royal is more aesthetic-ist. I'm all about function. He is all about form.

So, I've just been thinking about making a delicious cake for my cousin's upcoming wedding. (Just as a sort of gift, it is a VERY small, simple wedding.) The thing is, the cake isn't pretty. It is absolutely sensational (and I'm speaking as one who doesn't usually enjoy cake that much). And wouldn't it be unseemly to bring an ugly cake to a wedding?

Hmmm. I'm not sure. Aunt Carol, what do you think?

I made yogurt!

Check out this wonderful and simple method of making yogurt:

makeyourownyogurt.com

or, copy and paste this into the address bar:
http://www.makeyourownyogurt.com/yogurt.php?step=0

And, while you're at it, did you know yogurt is safe for infants? Pediatricians' vary on whether they recommend it first from 6months to 8 months! Just make sure it's Whole Milk yogurt. It is much easier to digest than cow's milk, apparently. Even though it is made straight from cow's milk.

I have succeeded twice with this process.

Yogurt is good for:
high protein breakfast (mix with fruit in blender, add a touch of sugar) (or, serve with vanilla and sugar over thinly sliced apple. Top with chopped walnuts and cinnamon)
snack smoothie (mid in blender with handful of choc. chips and 1/3 cup peanut butter, add a touch of honey)
Thickener for soups (adds protein!)
and, in some cases, a good sub for sour cream.

7.5 years!

Hey, Royal and I have now officially been married 7.5 years!

I love anniversaries!

101 Goals for 1001 Days

Okay, here is my semi-final draft!

101 Goals for 1001 Days Monday, September 8, 2008

I. Personal Goals

1. Make a list of 101 things I've accomplished in the last 3 years (40/101)

2. Write up 101 Goals for use in the next 1001 Days:(101/101)

3. Take 3 separate weeks to focus on listening to the people around me (0/3)

4. Buy, Read, and mark 3 books that teach about listening to others (0/3)

5. Write down in a journal 5 important things I learned about listening (0/5)

6. Write 5 stories about when I chose to listen lovingly to someone in my journal (0/5)

7. Focus for 1 hour for 63 days on just what is happening “in the now” while I am with a family member (extended is okay) Write down what happened in my journal at least 5 times (0/63) (0/5)

8. Attend the Temple at least 20 times. (1/20)- spiritual

9. Read my scriptures every day for 15 minutes for 29 consecutive days -spiritual (best: 6/29)

10. Read my scriptures every day for 20 minutes for 29 consecutive days -spiritual

11. Read my scriptures every day for 25 minutes for 29 consecutive days -spiritual

12. Read through each of the major study guides from cover to cover: Bible Dictionary, Topical Guide, Index, Gazette (0/4)-spiritual

13. Read through the pearl of Great Price Cover to cover -spiritual

14. Keep a bookmark I can write on in my scriptures for 29 consecutive days and make notes on some of those days (best: 8/29) -spiritual

15. Order the sound track of conference for a year, and keep it handy in the car while driving (0/2) -spiritual

16. Find out exactly how much it would cost to finish my degree (tuition and fees only) from 3 accredited distance learning programs (0/3)

17. Find out exactly how much it would cost to certified as ASL interpreter

18. Send 25 birthday cards or gifts (0/25) through the mail

19. Make someone a surprise birthday cake 9/21/08

II. Family, Extended Family and Genealogy

20. Plan and execute 5 special dates just what Royal would enjoy write them all down in journal (0/5)

21. Plan and execute 3 special getaways (2 days min.) with Royal ONLY that are just what I would enjoy. Record all in journal. (0/3)

22. Create a date logbook with up to 50 dates we've been on that I can recall. Start tracking what we do in it. Note things I enjoyed.

9/28 Played Ticket to Ride with the Gillespie Family
10/2/2008 Watched Unelectable by Glen Beck, Ben and Jerry's whirled peace and cherry garcia

20. Perfect One Jitterbug Routine with Royal from Dr. Jitterbug

21. Jitterbug with Royal in public

22. Help Grace memorize and pass off all 12 articles of faith (0/12)

23. Help Sienna and Grace prepare and present 10 FHE lessons (0/20)

24. Pick a quote each week to emphasize at home (0/50)

25. Make a performance part of FHE,(include it on the wheel) 21 times (0/21)

26. Take each child over 3 on 24 dates (45 minutes with no other company, somewhere other than at home) Record these dates in a special Book. (Grace: 1/24, Sienna: 0/24) Make at least 10 of the dates the child's choice (Grace: 1/10, Sienna: 0/10))

27. Come up with some way to connect with non-internet readers with our Blog. Send our blog stuff to close friends or family who do not read our blog online 10 times. (0/10)

28. Give to a needy family at Christmastime with family.

29. Help feed needy people at Thanksgiving.

30. Read 5 books about strengthening family ties, building up family, etc (0/5)

31. Help Donny verify at least 10 of my ancestor's Information (0/10)

32. Become a daughter of the American Revolution

33. Help my sisters and nieces become DAR members. (0/10)

34. Investigate a better format for Dad's collection of Photographs than DVD file tree

35. Digitize my family photos found in the brown rubbermaid container.

36. Index 3000 names for the Church (0/3000)

37. Print out the TMM Blog and bind it

38. Put a copy of my Digital family pics in my 72 emergency kit.

III. Financial and Business

42. Update my will to include James and future children

43. Establish an emergency fund with 6 months expenses in the bank

44. Buy a home large enough for us to grow in

45. Go through any business course at MIT open courseware.

46. Complete 4 courses toward getting a degree.

47. Organize a personal rolodex of contacts that are resources to me as a business person.

48. Take time once a month for a year to “nourish” my rolodex. I.E. Build contact relationships. (0/12)

49. Add at least 20 cool contacts to my rolodex (0/20)

50. Read 10 books about management

51. Read 10 books about marketing

52. Write a short Ebook (30 pages) (about finances?)

53. Carry out 10 marketing strategies on my Book

54. Find out 5 things left to do before Dad's book can be published (0/5)

55. Make a plan and help Dad carry it out to achieve all 5. (0/5)

56. Carry out 10 marketing strategies on Dad's book.

57. Publish at least 100 copies of Dad's book.

58. Help Dad publish an Ebook copy of his book.

59. Help Dad sell at least 75 copies of his book. (0/75)

60. Get one stream of passive income by real estate

61. Get one stream of passive income from a business (cookie business, real estate rental, publishing books)

62. Host a big (100 people) fundraising event for a local anti-abortion, pro-life clinic (concert, choral group, a capella singing classical group from the christmas program in Dothan, Joke sporting event, or mini-March madness).

63. Collect and organize a cookbook for cooking from extreme simple scratch while building up your pantry.

64. Publish my cookbook.

65. Market my cookbook.

IV. Personal Education Misc: Guns, Woodworking, Spanish, Garden/Cooking, Music

66. Take a short course on Gunsafety

67. Get someone to show me how to handle a gun

68. Pick a gun that I want to buy

69. Buy a gun for personal defense

70. Learn markmanship from a class or individual

71. Learn how to clean a gun.

72. Clean my gun twice (0/2)

73. Practice shooting/marksmanship 5 times (0/5)

74. Get a license to carry a gun.

75. Teach a group (3 min.) of people the process for obtaining a gun license.

76. Accumulate 3 power tools for woodworking (0/3)

77. Build a wooden structure that can stand alone (birdhouse, doghouse, storage shed,etc.)

78. Complete 5 woodworking projects from plans written by someone else. (0/5)

79. Design a simple woodworking project that could solve a problem I have (storage,etc)

80. Build something I designed out of wood

81. Teach each of my children something about working with wood (safety, grain, etc) (0/3)

82. Build something as a service to a person in need or to the community

83. Build something with Royal.

84. Plant 5 fruit trees (0/5)

85. Plant an herb garden (2 or more herbs)

86. Plant a flower garden (2 or more flowers)

87. Plant a container, themed garden (can overlap other garden goals.)

88. Raise or care for a large animal (sheep and up) long enough to resell it for greater value than I paid.

89. Slaughter and preserve or eat a bird.

90. Build a worm farm for one season (3 months min.) and put the droppings into a garden area

91. Make my own yogurt 5 times (2/5)

92. Try to make cheese 5 times, or successfully make it once (0/5)

93. Can 8 quarts (min) of something That I grew or at least harvested myself (0/8)

94. Make 5 meals with pressure-cooked beans (0/5)

95. Learn to Speak Spanish

96. Speak Spanish with 10 people whose 1st language is Spanish (0/10)

97. Memorize my favorite song on the piano (canon in D)

98. Write up my song The angry Baby Dance

99. Take 20 music lessons of any kind (0/20)

100. Read Automatic Wealth through twice. (0/2)

101. Read 10 biographical books (part of a life is okay) (0/10)

From Pigpen to Paradise and Back Again

I have always struggled with keeping order in my home.

Royal and I have made gradual, continual improvement in this area since our marriage in 2001, I am very proud to say!

In 2004, Royal was out of town for a few weeks, and I discovered a marvelous book from the 70s called, Sidetracked Home Executives (S.H.E.): From Pigpen to Paradise by Pam Young and Peggy Jones (sisters). This is a system for doing all your homemaking chores or recurring activites (piano practice, reading time, bathing your children, etc.). Basically, you make a 3x5 index card for each chore or activity, and then you use a filing system to make sure the chores are done on the right day and done at the right frequency (once a day, once a year, etc.)

The Card System was very helpful, but I found myself being too perfectionistic. I was tired of having 3 or more cards not finished at the end of the day. So, eventually, I gave it up.

At the end of Dec 2005, I was admiring the order of my girlfriend's home. She encouraged me to check out Flylady.net- a system for cleaning your home and ordering your life that was based on the original S.H.E. book, but it was simplified with less cleaning hours per week. Marla Cilley, "Flylady", sends out emails that teach you how to get your house and life in order a baby step at a time. Basically, you only "clean" for 15 minutes a day, plus one hour on Friday.

The flylady system was somewhat helpful, but I was never really able to work it out for my personality. I especially struggled to make a morning or evening routine that ever consistently worked. (I tried for about 12 months.)

Now, I've just received Sidetracked Home Executives from Paperbackswap.com! I have reread it, and I have pulled my card file out of a pile of junk. I am able to do it much better now that i have ditched my "do it all or you are failing" attitude.

So far, I have gone to bed twice on time, and I've gotten many things done that otherwise would have waited another several months. Yea! I'm so happy!

So, if you struggle with order in your home, I recommend both these systems. Also, you can email me to share good ideas and resources you have found!